Arousr - Discover Your Kinky Self

Lifestyle Domination, Dirty Chat, and Roleplay

November 17, 2021 Arousr Team
Arousr - Discover Your Kinky Self
Lifestyle Domination, Dirty Chat, and Roleplay
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

This week we sit down with Fetish Model/Performer Masuimi Max who has been in the industry for over 20 years. We get into the dynamics of swinging with herself and her husband to her sexting experience Dominating men online. Enjoy!


Arousr:

Welcome to your Kinky Escape, presented by Arousr.com. This is a safe space where you can learn more about sex, fetishes, and kinks anonymously. We aren't afraid to ask the naughty questions that are on everyone's mind. Enjoy. 


Arousr: Okay, welcome to Arousr. Introduce yourself, please to the audience, just in case they don't know you already. 


M.M: My name is Masuimi Max. Some call me Mad Max or Madam Max or Bad Max.


Arousr: And how long have you been in the fetish kink world? Would you say a long time? 


M.M: Well, I started fetish modeling and performing in the late 90s, and it's actually a lifestyle for me. The weird thing is, it's been about 20 something years, and it wasn't until recently that I realized that it is actually my lifestyle. I go to the grocery store in latex. I just grabbed something random. Oh, okay. I'll wear this. I don't have normal clothes, a normal life, normal schedule. You embrace it. It's a very alternative lifestyle. 


Arousr: Do you think that's because of fetish? Or do you think you were always that way?


M.M: I don't think I was always that way because I was raised with a military family, which is very structured. You wake up without an alarm, precisely at 06:00 a.m.. I don't know. I think when I left home, I wanted the opposite of how I was brought up. So I had just pure chaos. Sometimes I would be a night person, sometimes a day person, and it's just carried on. I decided that my rule was no rules, like, I could just decide that day. So the funny thing is, my husband was pointing out that when I do a fetish event, sometimes I'll wear all spikes and studs. Then when I do a punk rock event, I'll wear a dress. I just feel like wearing a dress. So I don't really have any set. Like, I'm not strictly fetish. You know what I mean? 


Arosur: Yeah, well, you can do pin-up fetish bondage, all of it. You do all of it.


M.M: Whatever. I feel like.


Arousr: Whatever. Man, what performance are you doing at the strip club's tonight?


M.M:  I am doing 420 minutes sets of just pure punk rock Fury. Like, really? I love it. The funny thing is, I'm playing it back. I'm like, this is kind of slow. He's like, It's not slow. Trust me, it's not slow. You're just used to really fast music. I mean, some of my costumes down here got my 60 elements of fetish in my stuff, wearing a latex outfit all over. It is beautiful. I'm wearing tassels that I will light on fire and spin on your boobies.


Arousr:  Yeah, nice. Is that a new trick, or is that an old one?


M.M: Newish


Arousr: I’ve seen that on Elvira in Mistress of the Dark. But she didn't have it on fire, right. I like that you added your little own little flair to it.


M.M: I put them on my ass, too, which I found out by accident accident when I rehearsed and I was doing a human fly show like a Spider fly show. And I had, like, eyeballs on my tits. Then I stuck them on my ass and started doing this, and I'm like, they're spinning! So I incorporated that into that. I just glued pasties to my butt. I just spun everything on fire.


Arousr:  Do you ever have them on your tits and your ass at the same time?


M.M: Yeah


Arousr: I got to see one of your shows. Now I got to see one of your shows


M.M: It's a little harder to get them to stay on my ass because they flew off. I was like, oh, God. Luckily, the stage was huge, right? So I just walked over, picked it up and put it out. Yeah, but tonight I will not do the ass tassels in case they fly and hit some guy in the face because the blue ones I could watch like, oh, shit. No one's coming off.


Arousr: Yeah, exactly. Okay, that's cool. So this month, we're talking more about Female Domination, and we've talked to you before slightly about the topic more in regards to, like, specification and your experience with that. But female domination? What role does that play for you in your life? Do you consider yourself a Dom? A sub or switch? Which one? Where do you lie there?


M.M: Mostly Dom very rarely switch. Very rarely. Okay. My husband is very dominant, too, but we swing. We like submissive girls. So it's kind of funny because we got two dominant people in a relationship, and that's not usually common. But his exes are my friends, too, and they're all very submissive, and they're exes. He wants this strong woman. So once in a blue moon, it's probably been seven years. I'll be submissive. It's very hard for me. Very hard.

Arousr:  Is this, like, in a sexual way or in a lifestyle way where you will not wear it necessarily for lack of a better term pants and let him drive.


M.M: Oh, we're actually both very dominant in just regular life. Would you like to do the dishes? It's never can. You do? I don't know. We don't around in any way.


Arousr: So I was talking about in a sexual way. Okay. So occasionally you'll be submissive sexually, but dominant, but in your day to day life, you're dominant every day, but it's also dominant. So two DOMS.


M.M: But it's weird because there's no conflict unless they're specifically a sub wanting that right?


M.M: See, that's really important. I used to meet these dominatrixes who would try to boss everyone around, and I'm like, Whoa, it has to be consent, not just with physical, but with the way you're treating people. Just because you're a dominatrix doesn't mean you get to tell everyone what to do


Arousr: Yeah. So I'm curious. So being Dom for you lifestyle wise with your partner husband is more. Well, you guys are very in line there. But then how does that play out outside of your partner in your personal relationship, with your work, your line of work as a fetish model performer. How does that play out in your life there, other than what you wear, how do you feel you're Dom and that you own your female domness, if you will.


M.M: stage was huge, right? So I just walked over, picked it up and put it out. Yeah, but tonight I will not do the ass tassels in case they fly and hit some guy in the face because the blue ones I could watch like, oh, shit. No one's coming off. Yeah, exactly. Okay, that's cool. So this month, we're talking more about female domination, and we've talked to you before slightly about the topic more in regards to, like, specification and your experience with that. But female domination? What role does that play for you in your life? Do you consider yourself a Dom? A sub or switch? Which one? Where do you line there? Mostly Dom very rarely switch. Very rarely. Okay. My husband is very dominant, too, but we swing. We like, missive girls. So it's kind of funny because we got two dominant people in a relationship, and that's not usually common. But his exes are my friends, too, and they're all very submissive, and they're exes. He wants this strong woman. So once in a blue moon, it's probably been seven years. I'll be submissive. It's very hard for me. Very hard. Is this, like, in sexual way or in a lifestyle way where you will not wear it necessarily for lack of a better term pants and let him drive. Oh, we're actually both very dominant in just regular life. Would you like to do the dishes? It's never can. You do? I don't know. We don't around in any way. So I was talking about in a sexual way. Okay. So occasionally you'll be submissive sexually, but dominant, but in your day to day life, you're dominant every day, but it's also dominant. So two DOMS. But it's weird because there's no conflict unless they're specifically a sub wanting. That right. See, that's really important. I used to meet these dominatrixes who would try to boss everyone around, and I'm like, Whoa, it has to be consent, not just with physical, but with the way you're treating people. Just because you're a dominatrix doesn't mean you get to tell everyone what to do. Yeah. So I'm curious. So being Dom for you lifestyle wise with your partner husband is more. Well, you guys are very in line there. But then how does that play out outside of your partner in your personal relationship, with your work, your line of work as a fetish model performer. How does that play out in your life there, other than what you wear, how do you feel you're Dom and that you own your female domness, if you will. Like I said, it wasn't until recently that I really started thinking about stuff like that and evaluating how I've been through the years. I've always been very true to myself. Like, if I don't want to do something, I'm very polite about it. I've turned down bookings before where I'm like, thank you very much. This isn't my thing, but I can refer some people, and I had a strip club booking once where the guy's, like, you have to do lap dances. And I was like, no, thank you. If that's the requirement, then I can't feature at your club. He's like, Well, let me check if it's okay. And I'll just put you on a flyer, and I'm like, I said, no, thank you. I'm very firm, but I'm polite, so not in the relationship sexual way. I'm still the same way I'm polite. I'm firm. I stand my ground. I don't tell them what to do, but when you're dominant, you also still respect people. You still ask questions. Would you like this or this? Except I like short answers. You'd better say yes, this or that? I don't know. I just keep the politeness factor only because I also like it when people are polite to me, of course. Well, again, it's consent as well as part of that. But as a dominant female, I have always been in charge of my career, my website, to the point where I self taught myself how to code just everything. I like, control over every aspect of my life.


Arousr: And then in the more sexual terms, because this is about sex at the end of the day, sexuality and sex. How do you feel? What turns you on about domination from a sexuality standpoint? It's almost like a gift from a submissive person, right?


M.M: They're giving you control, and they enjoy it. So I don't know, it's special because I don't know. I think some people think you're forcing someone, but you're not. They're like giving up control to me is really hard. So to me, I consider it a gift.


Arousr: What are some of, like, the hottest experiences you've had specifically with sexting and domination? Are there, like, any crazy, intriguing stories you can tell us? Pick one. Maybe that comes to your mind. Just something that was like, got you off as a Dom where you're like, that was hot for me, too, as much as it was for them, because they relinquished control to me as their dominant Dom. For that moment in time, I got off on that, too. Like, that equally served me as much as it served as much as they served me. That served me as well.


M.M: I totally thought of the opposite answer. Like the opposite question of what you just asked me. Okay. You're asking me about me being in control. But in a way, the inspiration is also being in control. Yeah. So Morat had this idea, like, what if I blindfold you one day? See that's giving up control. You blindfold you not me. Yeah. That's big time. So much trust involved in that me saying yes. It's also powerful for you. Yes. Because I never, ever say yes to that sort of thing. And he'll invite a girl, but never tell me who the girl is. And we have a threesome.


Arousr: And you don't see her at all?


M.M: No. Ever. And I'm like, tied up too.


Arousr: That’s hot!


M.M: See, I thought of the opposite answer, but sort of the answer to your question. No.


Arousr: You were technically that's you doing that, doing a switch into the system role for that. But by giving consent, you are still also the one in control because you are owning your role. Your role. His role. Her role. Anything. It's where you own. Your role is where you own yourself at the end of the day, whether it's to acknowledge and to be aware of where you stand and be able to say, I'm more submissive. I'm more of a switch. I like equally, a little bit of both. It's incredibly liberating because you set a standard for yourself, and you can really figure out who your appropriate partners should be, whether it's a relationship or whether it's just a sexual partner. You can target those people better because you can see if you align before you even try to get involved, where it becomes awkward. And one thing I find really fucked up is people these days they will fuck before they even have a conversation about sex. I think that's fucking terrible. We're not taught to talk about sex before we have it. We're just taught to have safe sex and don't get pregnant. And that's basically all we're fucking taught.


M.M:  I think psychologists should be part of every school curriculum because I meet people that I know don't know that they're submissive or they like being humiliated or they like being reprimanded because they actually do these things to get those things, those reactions out of people. But without realizing that there's actually a lifestyle for that, I have guys who purposely pissed me off so that I will reprimand them. And they don't know they're fucking submissive at all. Like recently this guy who keeps trolling my account, he wants me to yell at him. I'm not going to do that for free. Yeah. No, you shouldn't. You're a Dom and you're a professional, which you fucking do. So they should be paying for it. Come on. Okay. That's really interesting. So with you and your partner, then you have three sons with just women, then no men involved, just women. And then have you ever done the reverse to him where you bring someone and he's submissive to you. It's funny because he doesn't think he's submissive, but he has listened to me because I don't realize I'm ordering people around while in a sexual way. I'll be like, fucker. Okay. That's me telling him what to do, right? I just want to watch. So he may not think he is, but the roles have been reversed, both for you, but more for him than for you. He doesn't tell me what to do. Sex, actually. So it's just funny if I think about it, I am the one sometimes making the demands of what you want when it comes down to that. I see. But he doesn't like being tied up or spanked or anything like that. Not into that. No beating. Let me tie him up once, and he's like, I don't like this. 


Arousr: Do you like bondage? You like bondage, right?


M.M: Mmmmmm.Yeah. But I don't really like being restricted.


Arousr: Okay. Yeah. Bondage in a sense of, like, more of a corset than cuffs


M.M: And, of course, fashion looking a specific way. But handcuffs. I've been arrested before, and I took them off. Yeah. Not so much.


Arousr: You're more into bondage for photoshoots than in your personal. It's not getting you off into exploration.


M.M: Yes. Exactly.


Arousr: That's great role-playing in regards to sexting. Have you had any experiences you can share where you were the Dom and made someone do not made someone. But any thing that was like a crazy type of request someone requested from you, per se, as a sub or, like, anywhere you've explored that in a sexting capacity, being a Dom, but virtually essentially, and not even seeing that person and having an experience that was wild or crazy or just very intense in general.


M.M:  Yeah, but I could give a few examples, but I don't know the craziness factor.


Arousr: Well, it's different based on what you think, I would say. The better way to even put it would be intense, most intense session, like where you feel like super connected to this person that you're never going to meet. You never see them. You're just texting. That's it you're doing things through text.


M.M: Well, okay. I was texting a guy in Dubai. He was rich. Yes, at home, and his family was in town and very religious. I kept making him. Well, I told him I was like, Well, he also called me at one point, but I made him say, Madam Max, really loud. He's like, I don't know if I could do that because my family is in the other room, and I was like, Are you a pussy? This is what I want you to do. And that was intense because of his situation. You know what I mean? His family was there. He was super religious, respectful job if they heard him going, Madam Max, like, really loud. Like, it doesn't make sense. I also made him wear women's underwear and expose it at work. And he's the owner of the company? Yes. Did he prove that he did that, though? Yes. Really? Yeah. He had to take a picture at work. And because he's a strict boss owner, that was intense. Because what did his employees think? Did his employees see? I told them that they had to. So, yeah, he did it.


Arousr: He did the damn thing. Interesting. Especially because of the Middle Eastern men, especially Dubai is not even, let alone King friendly, but skate friendly at all. You can't even legally be transgender.


M.M: At work in public. White, too white. So they really stood out on a black suit.


Arousr: And then what would you say? Are your, like your favorite things about female domination? What would you say? Personal favorites of your own of this specific fetish?


M.M: I don't have to try. It's just natural. It's just natural. Yeah. Just how you've been predispositioned to be this way. Like, I don't have to put on a character or a costume. It's just me. It's kind of cool getting paid to just be me.


Arousr: Yeah. What’s are the differences between them? What would you say...The fake Dom, the real Dom.


M.M: There's a few. The fake Dom is the one who goes around ordering everyone around, their power over everyone. And it's like, you're not really a dominatrix. I don't know. Real dumb. Like my girlfriend mistress (Asian Name). I'm actually taking her Academy every week, and I don't know. She's just amazing. She studied psychology. If you don't know anything about this lifestyle, it'd be really good to follow her because she explains it without making you uncomfortable. I think the fake thumbs are the ones that are not comfortable, so they can't actually make you feel comfortable. They don't understand psychology. They don't understand consent. And some of them think you have to be rude. Why do you have to be rude? You don't have to be rude. I don't know. Yeah. And then differences between the internet Domme and the real Domme, because now there's a whole new subgenre of female domination of female Domme that solely exists only on the internet. And it's a good thing because it makes it more accessible for people who are in different areas who cannot go to, say, a dungeon or meet in person, especially with obviously the coming out of the Pandemic era. But it's also anyone who has the ability now to say I am a Domme, but they don't understand the culture and the nuance and the subtext and the psychology behind it. Have you noticed the differences between those? Because there's a lot of internet Dommes that would never be able to really be a real Domme in person or in real life or live that real lifestyle for themselves. The differences between an online Dom versus in person. I think it's the same as what I said. There are real Dommes online part of the Academy I'm doing. It's like a group of submissives and Dommes and some of them will pick a submissive on Zoom and do a session right in front of the whole class. I didn't know that was possible, and it's very possible. You could see the subs going into, like, sub world and they're doing everything. I don't think just because you're online, you're a fake domme because in person there are fake domme. Yeah, I think it's the same. It's just more accessible now for more people to say it with a profile that says on the Dom, because anyone can say not everyone knows that. I've seen that everywhere.


Arousr: Yeah. Yeah. You notice there's a lot more Dommes these days than ever before. Like you didn't think this was even humanly possible for this many people women to be Domme.


M.M: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There's a lot of fakers out there. You can tell by the way they write. So in their posts if they're like, do you like my hair like this? I'd like you to do this. I want you to do this. This is what I want in the way the type. Do you want me to punish you? You disobeyed me. You are being punished. You are now being ignored. I don't know. You could tell just by the way they post.


Arousr:  Yeah, and ultimately, those types of women won't be successful for very long. Or because a real submissive. The subs aren't stupid. Let's put it that way. The submissive men, just because they're submissive doesn't mean they're stupid. I think that's a big thing. Society why men are trained to be more dominant, more Alpha, because they see submissiveness having a submissive nature to be weak. It's a damn shame because it is good to submit to women from time to time. Even if you are not a submissive to level the power balance between men and women, men do need to submit and capitulate occasionally to us because we are in a society where we're constantly having to submit to the male ego. So I think it's really important that female domination is not looked at just with lips and chains and latex and leather. It's a mental thing, and it would be nice. It's not always a physical thing that starts in the mind first, because to be dominant means you have to be. There must be a submissive on the other side of that. Someone has to submit to you because you can't submit yourself. It's impossible. You're only one person. So it needs to be done in a pair in a couple or more. In a group setting, society could take away some of the shame and the stigma behind a man submitting to a woman and him being less than, which is absolutely bullshit. That a man submitting to a woman puts him at a lower disadvantage. Like, no, he's just going to have a great experience. 


M.M: He should worship women. Women are the baby makers. Come on. They're the lifemakers.


Arousr:  Come on, man. It's all changing, and I'm glad. I'm happy. We get to have these conversations now so we can be a part of the tiny little baby steps forward. It takes to even the playing field for everybody. All genders, all kinks, all queers, all equal. All fucking cool, man. That's what we like to do around here.


M.M:  I had a friend recently asked me. He's like, I have to decide, am I a girl? A guy. Am I nonbinary? And I go, you don't have to. I go. You could be whatever you want at that moment. And he was like, you just give me peace. I'm like, yeah, just because he's also smitten. And I'm like, just because you're Smith domain, you can't set rules for yourself, and your rule can be. There are no rules. You are whatever you feel like at that moment. Yeah. You don't need to declare yourself to people. You don't have to announce and be like, I am this. Who cares? You are whatever you want, and you don't have to explain it. And you don't have to fit in a box. There's a lot more boxes now to fit. He was trying to fit a box, and he was like, you don't need to pick.


Arousr: That's the thing. Well, it was great chatting with you today, Masuimi, as always, a pleasure. A pleasure. And how can people find you? Is that a loaded question right now?


M.M: Well, my name. You could just Google me and everything will come up, right? Or badmax.com


Arousr: Groovy. Okay. Say goodbye to everyone on Arousr. 


M.M: Bye!


Arousr: Thank you so much for joining us today. Are you ready to get sexting, or do you simply want to learn more and expand your kink education? We got you covered Arousr.com. See you there!



Intro
Who is Masuimi Max?
Stripclub Fire Performance
What makes her a Domme?
How Sex & Domination Intersect
Swinging, Submission and Wild Sex
Sexting with a Conservative Dubai Business Owner
Fake Domme vs. Real Domme
The Internet Dominatrix Defined
Outro